Wednesday, 20 December 2006
Season's Greetings From Us Dawgs
Yes, it's that time of the year again.......
His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem, PA/PR Gromit, The Nashman, and the countless other unnamed serfs in The Orange Household wish you all Season's Greetings! (Be it Christmas, Chanukah, or Kwanzaa.)
HRO Karl Willem, PA/PR Gromit, and The Nashman thank everyone for visiting our humble blogdiary. As The Nashman's £50/hour 'friend' in Amsterdam always says after every visit - "How was it for you? I hope it was good and you got your money's worth, and more."
So, as we welcome another New Year....
We wish everyone greater success, prosperity, peace, love, and happiness not just for the coming year, but till they walk the face of this earth.
Anyways, today it was really foggy. Flights have been canceled Europe-wide, Heathrow Airport is at a standstill. HRO Karl Willem, PA/PR Gromit, and The Nashman just chillaxed and had a long coffee afternoon. While the rest of the materialistic world was stressed with last minute shopping, we were happily ensconced inside the bookshop happily watching the girls go by.
This is our favourite table. It's always reserved for us. There's a signed picture of Bill Clinton just next to that lamp. Soon, we will also donate one of our autographed mugshots.
Finally, people have been asking who takes some of the photos on this blog. Since it's the end of the year and I'm feeling a little bit charitable, I want to acknowledge one of our minimum-wagers such as the photo-fairy.
I honestly don't remember her name as I don't fraternize with the staff but I picked her up at the Franco-Anglo border crossing in Calais. I was casually waiting to pass through British Immigration when this girl, who is from a failed Eastern bloc country as seen from her polyester blend jacket, tugged on the cottails of my bespoke Brioni suit. "Me..wife...you...for visa?" she said.
I didn't need a wife but I figured she was more suited as our personal photographer who would be relied upon to risk life and limb to document HRO Karl Willem, PA/PR Gromit, and The Nashman in their many adventures.
Let me clarify however that we are not exploiting cheap labour. She's paid twice the minimum wage. (Thrice, actually if you use the minimum wage of North Korea.) We also let her gain some extra money by allowing her to busk and play her guitar at the market. She must be a very good musician because sometimes she comes home at dawn with lots of money with the smell of cheap aftershave. I also think she's dating some Member of Parliament. If I honestly think she's ready to face the world and stand on her own, maybe I will let her have her passport back and let her go.
To her credit, she had a very fast learning curve with digital photography. It's her darkroom techniques that need lots of careful instruction......
Sorry we couldn't come. The Tardis is under repair.
Finally, apologies to our loyal followers in our beloved Las Islas Filipinas. Early this year we promised to come home to Baguio and visit the beaches. Sadly, after a review of the existing travel advisories, our security advisers thought it would not be a safe time for HRO Karl Willem and The Nashman to visit. Also, we heard that the convention centre we were supposed to visit in Cebu is made of cardboard and shoddily constructed. Our evil hobbit president was right in canceling the ASEAN summit as we don't want other despotic banana republic autocrats getting drenched from the leaking roof.
at 10:47 p.m.