Thursday, 25 December 2008

The Dawgs Travel Diary: Christmas Day Perambulations

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit are grateful that unlike in the British Isles, public transport still runs as usual, and on time, on Christmas Day in Bavaria so off they went to the countryside for a morning walk to clear the mind and burn some more calories...

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit dragged The Nashman to Lake Starnberg, the 4th largest lake in Germany. This is where King Ludwig Friedrich Wilhelm drowned after being deposed for straining the coffers of Bavaria building all those fairy tale castles. Actually, his death was truly impressive because he 'drowned' in waist deep waters. Perhaps the two bullet holes on his back may have helped. (All the witnesses of the 'accident', by coincidence were also killed. I think they were unrelated cases, don't 'cha?). Anyways, the dawgs and The Nashman paid their respects to the man without whom there would be no real life Disney Castle and without whom Wagner would not have finished his 'short' Ring Cycle. Much as we love to skinny dip as Bavarians do, it's winter and the cold water might leave The Nashman with a vagina.

Anywhere you are in the world, there is always one 'pigeon' lady, the one who seemingly has a lot of leftover bread.

Train station toilet condoms, masturbatory devices, and artificial 'vaginas'. Only €3! Bargain I say!

After spending the morning in Lake Starnberg (the details of which will be elaborated in our memoirs) HRO Karl Willem, PA/PR Gromit, and The Nashman returned to Mariansplatz for a short walkabout before lunch.

There is an infestation of rats in Germany and so they hired a Besayan Rat Keller to kell the rats. Bisaya is the new french and gaining popularity that there is even a bisayan super rock group called The Kellers....I'b gat sol bai, but i'm nat a soldjer...I'b gat sol bat i'm nat a soldjer..(Dyok lang to my Bisaya pans, you know we lab you, I am apter all 25% Cebuano.)

PA/PR Gromit suggested we go the the oldest wheat beer brewer in Munich. Upon arrival, we quickly got a vase of wonderful Schneider Weisse Original. Mmmmm...

PA/PR Gromit inspects the menu....

HRO Karl Willem and our delicious suckling pig roast in Aventinus stout. The skin was crispy too and the meat was melt in the mouth goodness.

Two litres of beer and 500000 calories later, HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit dragged the porcine Nashman for a jaunt along the River Isar.

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit admire one Botero-like sculpture lining the river bank. Under Pervert Philippine Senator Manny Villar, public art like this would be banned and the artist imprisoned for 'indecency'.

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit and the 100-year old art noveau building that also happens to be the local swimming pool/sauna, (in german Volksbad. But for the benefit of Ateneo de Manila students - Volks = people; Bad=bath, hence 'people's bath', geddit?). Ashley and his royal friend would consider public baths like this their personal mosque. Siguro kung andito yung royal friend ni Ashley, araw-arawin niya ang pagkakalat ng sabon sa sahig ng shower room tapos may prayer mat siya sa gitna ng sauna para abot langit ang pagtuwad niya.

Walking further downstream, HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit reach the Corinthian base of the Friedensengel...

...that's the goddess Nike on top.

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit and another piece of public art that would get the artist thrown by pervert Senator Manny Villar's anti-obscenity laws into a jail cell to be gangraped by Tita Manoling Morato and Etta Mendez, the Guardians of Morality.

Our walk made us hungry after picking some local delicacies of sweets shaped like pigs...we went back to the Hofbrauhaus...

..put some beer on our mats, please...

To start we ordered beef broth with large liver dumpling. When they say 'large' they mean fricking large because that dumpling was the size of my fist.

HRO Karl Willem and our modest meal of vienna-style escalopes with wheat beer of course.

It is quite impressive that some waitresses can carry full steins on each hand. I saw one skinny waitress carry 3 steins on each hand. Consider that a stein weighs half a kilo plus the 1 kilo beer - thats 4.5 kilos on each hand! And you must keep them level.

Ah, brewers. The world would be a bleak place without them.

Malamig ba sa labas? Hindi, mainit nga eh. Kahit nakasando ka lang basta meron kang Baguio bonnet (with sunflower), ok na!

HRO Karl Willem dragged us all to the concert hall for some coffee and live muzak...

I don't know why they are called that. Hmm, ano kaya ang maalat-alat sa kanya? The acoustic set was chillaxing with confident covers of some Eva Cassidy arrangements..what a merry Christmas indeed.

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