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Monday, 22 December 2008

The Dawgs Travel Diary: Visiting some good friends

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit, after re-reading Baudelaire's "The Flowers of Evil", that masterpiece of stoned French eroticism, looked at The Nashman and pondered out loud "You, know, we should really thank the bastard for such fine literary work. It's a proper mind fuck, esse" to which loyal human consort The Nashman replied "Indeed, it's rude to be near the 'hood and not drop by for a visit"...


You won't find this book on the shelves of Tita Manoling Morato, The Ateneo de Manila, CBCP, Etta Mendez, or that pervert Senator Manny Villar. This is why kids today is so messed up, coz they don't read no more.

Right, so the dawgs arrive at Montparnasse and ask around for directions. Hey Birdie, where my homies at?

Oh, you know who else is here? said HRO Karl Willem, sniffing someone really really important...

...it's John Paul Sarte and Simone de Beauvoir! Woof woof! Yes they were buried together. These lovers were the Piolo Pascual and Sam Milby of their day...As in "are they on again or off again"? people asked in the smoke filled and gossipy cafes. Too bad there was no Inday Badiday to ask "Ano ba talaga ang true? Sabihin mo sa inyong mga fans kung kayo na ba ulit. Pero bago mo sagutin, pasalamatan muna natin ang United American Tiki-tiki..."

I don't know why peeps leave their metro tickets, it's not as if JPS will be aware/conscious of their existence now that is truly/truly not free...Baah, ano ba talaga JPS? Sabihin mo ang nafi-peel mo para maliwanagan ang iyong mga pans at matapos na ang isyung ito...

People leave notes too..

Ay hindi niya gets? Siguro champagne socialist ang Joel from UP Diliman.

HRO Karl Willem respectfully leaves our note.

You know, I had to put the "literally and figuratively" thereby reducing the beauty of my double meaning phrase just in case some undergrad from The Ateneo de Manila comes and doesn't get it. Get it?

The dawgs lead the way over them gravestones to visit another dear friend. Tabi tabi po...Hmmm, marmol, baka pwidi pitikin, pinapaayos ko kasi banyo namin sa prabins. May kasama pang cross, hindi na kelangan bumili ng crusipiks sa Manaoag.

Hurray! We has found Charlie boy!

We had a moment of silence for Charles, mmm, well, we was actually giggling a lot. Charles is such a funny man. Super uberlibog to the max at sunog baga yang mama na yaan. We loves him.

Excuse me, do you mind telling us where....Now, Guy de Maupassant is also in this 'hood but he is quite DIFFICULT to find. The cheeky bastard. We lent him one of our necklaces and we want it back. Tinataguhan kami dahil maniningil kami ng four gives. Kulang nalang naka-motorsiklo kami na may dala dalang payong at wall clocks.

While looking for Guy and our necklace, we found this. Aba, bagong hukay! Mainit-init pa! At sikat/mayaman/malaki titi siguro siya dahil may wreath siya from President Nico and Carla! The carpet of flowers was so dense I could not reach far enough to try and read the gravestone.

Heto ang isa pa...bagong hukay...pero poor siguro, or baka si Lestat, kelangan lang niya ng temporary blanket. The dogs and I were quite naughty. Some of those footprints are The Nashman's....

We spent a good 1 hour before sunset looking for Guy with no success! This 'hood is harder to navigate than Pere Lachaise Cemetery and it was getting dark we were in danger of being locked in. We don't mind actually coz graveyards are good fun but then the dawgs told me we had enough money in the bank to go shopping for.....

...new undies! Ashley, hindi na Hanford yan! Pero they don't stock up on YC Bikini Brief (for the man who packs a wallop). I commissioned some undies in the Philippine flag design! It will be a surprise! I feel like Zobel when he 'designed' the Philippine Centennial Swatch. (Diba, lagyan mo lang ng flag sa strap, 'design' na. Pero you will be surpise and amaze talaga sa aking kansunsilyo design. Kahit hindi ako Nag-Ewan Fashen School gaya ni Angel Locsin, bebenta ang aking underwear line. And take note Ashley, hindi si pasmado ang kamay Dingdong Dantes ang aking Edsa billboard model, my people are talkening to David B's people.)

Later in the evening, it was time for another coffee break. Front row table 1 please para people watching at high hello kami to the natives.

Huy Ashley, sino na yung kaibigan mo na pinagsabihan na kung pwede, hwag sa harap at pintuan ng cafe umupo?" Aminin. Tapos nagwala wala siya "This is racism! This is racism!" until binigyan siya ng salamin ng maitre d bago mag-explain na he is so fugly kasi he is scaring away the customers eh cafe yun at hindi Darwin Origin of Species exhibition (Part 1: Pre -homo erectus).

Later that evening the dogs went to the talipapa then cooked up a healthful dinner...

...of marbled steak with roquefort sauce. Mmmm.

6 comments:

kaytee said...

Montparnasse! We wanna go too!

The Nashman said...

the entire 'hood or just the graveyard? coz it has that ugly black office tower in the middle...

kaytee said...

The whole neighborhood! Except the ugly black office tower!

ashley said...

hoy, baka akala ng iba puro wa class ang mga friends ko. baka di ko friend yan.

ang kilala ko lang na friend ko ay ang nakulong sa examination room dahil di nya mapigilan na pumunta ng cr. ayon tuloy, napatwag sa iyo (habang busy ka sa laboratory) para sabihan ang mga pulis na may tao sa loob ng examination school. so, yo see, cloase sya sa iyo dahil ikaw ang una nyang naisip. haha.

ashley said...

close pala at hindi cloase. lakas talaga ng presence ni royal friend. kelangan ko nang magpatawag ng albularyo para mawala sya sa bahay.

mga hirit ng royal friend mo: "am so surprise and amaze." minsan pa, nakakita ng tao na sinisipa ang aso sa daan at biglang humirit pa confidently "that's animal rights. (period)"

that steak looks yum. magaya ko kaya yan if i have time.

The Nashman said...

hindi mo magagaya yan dahil walang matinong totoong roquefort sa Rustan's. Puleeez.