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Friday, 29 February 2008

Blog Leaks



You almost feel sorry for Harry after an American Blog leaked his presence in Afghanistan. I wonder why the USAmericans felt they had to compromise his/his group's mission. What's wrong with shutting the fuck up for a change?....Hmmm, speaking of leaks, did you hear about the.........




Ashley, para sa iyo ito. Alam ko namang type mo ang men in uniform.....Do you still dress up as an MMDA traffic aide when you get down and jiggy with the sailors Ashley?

Thursday, 28 February 2008

Cosmology


Wolfson, home to philosophers, anti-social poets, and vegetarian Filipinos (eww).

Tonight, I had two lectures to choose from. The decision was easy however, I went to one of my favourite teachers, Lord Rees. He is of course the Astronomer Royal (a position once held by Halley, of the comet fame), President of the Royal Soc (a position once held by Isaac Newton), and Master of Trinity (replacing Nobel winner Amartya Sen)....hmmm, what else? Oh, he and Stephen Hawking had the same PhD Supervisor (Prof. Sciama).

I abandoned cosmology in high school when I had my mega-existentialist crisis. Basically, cosmology is the search for "god" and this involves high level maths of more than 4 dimensions,which involves hyper-large numbers, and it taxed my sanity. Infinity is just not my cup of tea.

So you hope for the next best thing - astrophysics/aeronautics...but then again there is no aeronautics in da Pelefins. Eventually, I ended up wiring Nokia digital signal processors to the outside world (it got boring when you realised that under your watch 80 million chips have your program in it, they were all the same except they got smaller every 3 months and so you had smaller and smaller cellphones. You are most welcome.)

Aaaanyways, when I got to Cantabrigia, I was very happy to learn that you can attend any lecture (as in!) you wanted and I tried to play catch up. Hence, I discovered what amazing lecturers Rees, Hawking, et al are..Imagine, Ashley, parang kahapon lang, para akong ebak na lumulutang sa estero ng Tabora Barangay, ngayon ako'y ebak pa rin pero sa Rivers Thames, Cherwell, at Cam na ako lumalangoy. Parang pag tumatabi ako kay Lord Rees, eh superstar siya samantalang ako bituing walang ningning. O siya, baka sabihin ng masa na ako'y nagse-senti. Pwe.


Alien spaceship, take me to your leader.

I think Lord Rees' best quote of the night was "Space will not solve the earth's problems". Kaya alagaan natin si Mother Earth because there is no other place in our solar system which will be even remotely 'habitable' like the Top of Everest or Antartica. Pero take note, the sun will die out in 6 billion years...

Syaks, when I was in Elementary School there were only nine planets and a handful of planetary satellites....Egad, imagine what torture the children are undergoing now. Kahit lunurin mo sila sa Promil, hindi nila ma-mememorise yang mga moons na yan. Incidentally, why are we looking for methane? Isbecoz, it's a key ingredient in jump starting the process of making amino and nucleic acids. (The other theory is that we originated from extra-terrestial contamination daw..) Opkors, just because you see some ebedens of these components, it does not imply that you will find complex organisms. Ang aliens lang na alam ko ay yung mga Royal Friends ni Ashley (from the Sultanates of Ewan and Delusional) na tila baga galing sa ibang dimension.

This is the current list of similar systems to our own solar system. As you can see, very few 'earth-like' planets have been discovered. I quite like the idea of having another me in a parallel universe. I want to be an evil James Bond villain. (And trust me, I will kill him on sight immediately instead of launching into a diatribe, thus allowing him time to use his watch with a laser gun...)

If this were a building, the economists would be in the penthouse. (Sige na nga Ashley, kahit mina-magic ninyong mga ekonomista yang mga numero niyo sa ADB... Ang trickle down effect ng pagtaas ng GDP naramdaman na ng masa dahil kabibili po ni Ashley ng 20-inch na Mac.)

99 Luftballoons


Alam niyo naman, mahilig talaga kami sa lobo dine.

What's this?

Naks, photoshoot. Take note Ashley, naka Oxbarrio gown pa. Ok, lang nakikita-kita ko paminsan ang mokong na ito. USAmericano yata na Rhodes Scholar, baka para sa kanilang newsletter. Di tulad ng kaibigan mo, nag-attend lang ng 1-day seminar eh nag-suot na rin ng gown kahit di nag-matriculate...naka-scarf pa rin ba siya ng college ng Gryffindor diyan sa Manille? Hayaan mo na, mahangin kasi kaya baka malamig...

If you want a thesaurus....

...go and buy Greta's album.

hala, baka maubusan na ng adjectives...

Maiparit iti ag-cambio iti Butu. Capisco?





Random Wednesday Night Snaps....


Tough times fall on Bugs and the Gang as the recession forces them to diversify into something more lucrative....

As far as smear campaigns go, this is very very funny rather than damaging.

I also voted yesterday for the new set of College officers. Yes, we take election malpractice very very very seriously.

Manila Fashion Week: President Gloria Mandaraya Arroyo dresses as a sperm

Wednesday, 27 February 2008

The Nashman Studies of Motion 37: How to lift a £10,000, 10-metre long, fragile boat


I know, it's slightly erotic, phallic even....but it's one of the most beautiful sights along the river. Now pay attention.

How to retrieve the boat:

1. First row to the first parking space you see before the other bitches get to it...

2. Reverse slowly, taking care not to crash your £10,000 boat.

3. Lift off the water to waist, and rock...

4. In one fluid motion, do the WWF's Ultimate Warrior move....

5. Transfer weight to shoulder.

6. Carry to boathouse....(ahaahahaha, nadapa siya, nakita ko yon. nakunan ko pa pectyur...)

To put it into the water, just do the above process in reverse, like so...





The above is the orthodox method. But then again, there are new ways to do it as well na talaga namang nakakagulat the first time you see it.

Let me tell you a story. When I was young (1988, I was 7 years old at hindi pa tuli, walang kokontra) and I was training for ski jumping (using that steep road beside the Baguio Filipino-Chinese Hospital), I was taught to have my skis parallel at lift-off and during flight. However, that very same year, it was shown by the boffins that crossing your skis at the back and forming a V provided greater lift and hence longer flights. (Kaya naman Ashley, everytime na-ski jumping ako sa Chamonix, parang ako si Darna kung lumipad at pa-wave wave nalang ako from the air sa mga Royal friends mo na hindi pinayagan sa ski-lift dahil nga ski resort yun at hindi theme park ng mga lamang-lupa.)

As in ski jumping, here is an unorthodox way to lift the boat...(actually, medyo mas nakakalibog nga ito.)


Instead of spreading out over the entire length of the banka, apatan bawat dulo..

Ang ganda nung muscle definition nung nasa unahan. Siguro kung naka-lycra rin ako that day, bakat na bakat ang pananabik ng aking totoy.

Agboating tayo idiay Burham lake...

Just now, Obama lost my support (or vote if I is USAmerican)

...because in the last debate, he ended one sentence with a preposition. That's not cool where I come from. Barack, where's your dictionary at?


Character assassinations...

Lindol??? Kelan??

The strongest in a quarter of a century?
Terrifying?
Scary?
I thought I was going to die?

O.A. nyo ha. Sanay na ako ganyan, ni hindi nga ako bumangon. Sa amin sa bundok, every year ang mga maliliit na lindol na yan. Dito, akala ko nag-sesex lang yung sa katabi kong kwarto. Medyo nainggit nga ako dahil aba, parang ang lakas ng yanig ng kama nila...pero ay, 10 seconds lang ang pagyanig.....premature!

Tuesday, 26 February 2008

Today's mga baleta


The royals are just like us. The Duke of Edinburgh plays Foxy Lady on air guitar and has that pained Eric Clapton look as he plucks those imaginary strings! Now pay attention sire, it's F, G....

Carla looks at me with burning desire. I've long forgiven her for marrying Nico. The good news is that she thinks monogamy is boring! Phwoar.....

Auf! Auf! The German and Belgian shepherds get new shoes...

Flower Power

A big shout out to one of my best mates Josh for the following pictures. (Respec, ayt...) I suddenly feel homesick and miss binatog and shawarma....


Yep, real men wear flowers.

I think those are supposed to be eel/fish traps?....(correct me if I am wrong)

Like the Scottish Highlands, the ikat patterns are unique for each group. (And yes, we have clean first class highways, at least in the city centre, and you can walk barefoot without getting tetanus...Incidentally, even here in Oxbarrio, there are some students who walk barefoot)

Those pots better not be glued together. I had a lola who could balance 10 at a time!

Assume the magic position!

Snap Photo Assault - Dinner with a member of the House of Lords

Tonight we had dinner with Baroness Greenfield of Otmoor....but that is not why I accepted the invitation to this dinner....it's because, more importantly, she's a damn good neuroscientist..and we need excellent scientists in the corridors of power....

It's midnight and I'm drunk and too late to ask permission from the people in these photos so I decided to chop them off...


The Nashman, the new Magsaysay-Bokawkan Police Outpost Superspy...Aglemmeng kayon nga managbasol. May bagong Bungo sa Baguio.

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem of Sweden and The Netherlands (that's his full title) was also invited of course.

Hmmmm, pre-prandial drinks...

Marine Lt. R.T. and Princess S.

As usual, I thought tonight's wine selection was superb!

Siempre, RT is my contact inside the CIA. You know, Magsaysay-Bokawkan police outpost is one of the busiest in the world. Don't ask me why he decided to dress blue tonight in light of the animosity of Europeans to the US military..I think he is brave....but he is a very good man and I'm happy that there are men like him in the field. I was hoping some terrorists would take us hostage during the dinner so me and RT can team up with the cook to beat up the bad guys....

Me and a girl....

Me and two of my beautiful friends...GV is a mathematician while MQN is a particle physicist. You can throw away those stereotypes about geeks.

I think G was so hot and sexy in this frock!

Me and CH.

Standing next to the garbage...I just want to keep it real ayt...my mother always says "You'll be in a bubble when you go up to Oxbarrio, but remember anak, ang ebak balutin mo man ng Brioni Suit, ebak pa rin." Take note Ashley, and aking suot ay bespoke at hindi Oscar de la Rental or George Armani na suot ng mga royal (kuno) friends mo sa mga sayawan diyan sa Culiat.....pwidi ba!

O siya, I think magjajack-en-poy muna kami ng special friend ko at magrorosaryo sa kama dahil ganun naman ang ginagawa ng mga Catolico during those 'exclusive moments'....