Monday, 31 March 2008

Guess who came....

We were both so wet when another friend came over wanting to join....

It's time to leave Nash

Yes, public nudity is a great Oxbarrio tradition.

To paraphrase an article I read when I was still a dugyot agmut-muteg urchin back in Baguio, "Oxbarrio Uni, hard to get into. Even harder to get out of.."

It's so true.

I wonder, am I procrastinating because subconsciously a big part of me does not want to leave this place? I have been here exactly 4.5 years. Far too long. I have missed my self-imposed deadline by three months (and counting).

Give me a month to sort things out. Thanks for your patience Mom and Dad. Decisions, decisions. They will be made.

You drown in alcohol in Oxbarrio. Expect crates of wine at every lecture. I have been underground. It's a magical place. I even thumbed through a 17th Century Pigafetta. (To think I'm not a historian shows the emphasis of 'sharing knowledge to all who thirst' here.)

I try to avoid this as much as I can. It's not false modesty, I'm Kankanaey. Even my friend Ashley will deny his Oxonian degree until provoked.

Sex, drugs, rock and roll. Been there, done that. It's encouraged as long as you pass. But let me confess that I draw the line on synthetics. I would NEVER touch synthetics.

Many famous people barely passed. Even Shelley was expelled.

Sunday, 30 March 2008

Top Filipina Actresses in Hollywood and New York not named Lea Salonga (who only did three movies btw, not like these girls on the list)

With titles like "Miso Horny" or "Sex Trek II: The search for sperm", these Filipina actresses have been in some very very interesting movies. I have not seen any of these arthouse films yet, maybe soon. Remember, support the artists! Buy legitimate DVDs! (My only pet peeve is that they market themselves as "Japanese" or "Chinese")

The List:

1. Lily Thai
Fuck Me Like the Whore That I Am/Pussyman's Whores of the Orient/All-Girl Pussy Parade 2/Fantastic 4 on the Floor/Nailed with Cum 2/Asian Brotha Lovers 1/Asian Cheerleader/Cavity Search 3 /Interracial Cum Swappers /Me So Asian /Oriental Chocolate Dreams /Whoriental Sex Academy 7/Me Luv U Long Time 6

2. Kaylani Lei
Nominations from the Adult Film Awards
Best Oral Sex Scene in Eye of the Beholder (2004)
Best Actress in Sweatshop (2004)
Best Actress in Beautiful

Porn Valley/Orgy Addicts/Rake & Ho' Em/Porn Star Station 2/Take That! The Biggest Pop Shots of Deep Throat This /Rub the Muff 9 /Please Cum Inside Me 17 /Melanie the Little/Asian Squirter/Asian Street Hookers 30 /I've Never Done That Before 10 /Young & Cumming/Naughty College School Girls 27

3. Annie Cruz
Let Me Taste My Asian Ass /Stop or I'll Squirt /Slanted Holes /Bitch Blow Me! 2 /Strap-On Asian Bitches 2 /I Touch Myself 4 /In Through the Backdoor /Cum Hungry Leave Full 2 /A Little Cumster in the Dumpster /Squirt Hunter Vol. 1/Dirt Pipe Milkshakes /Lethal Injections 4 /Bitchcraft /Incumming 11 /Asian Fucking Nation/Slant Eye for the Straight Guy 3/Semen Sippers 5/The Cream Team/Anal Bandits 3 /Cum Fart Cocktails 3/Assfensive 3/Sperm Swappers 2/Anal Expedition 8/Cum in My Gaping Butthole/Cum Eating Teens 3/Asian Passion/Very Very Bad Santa/Bookworm Bitches /Young Asian Cookies Dripping Cum 2/Luv Dat Asian Azz/A Load in Every Hole 11

4. Sabrine Maui
The Sopornos 4/University Coed Oral Exams /Asstravaganza 1Tastes Like Cum /Oral Hygiene 3 /10 Man Cum Slam /Sorority Sex Kittens 6 /Anal Instinct 3/Asian Bondage/Fantasies 3 /Good Girls Doing Bad Things /I Like It Black 3 /Tight and Asian 2 /Young as They Cum 12 /Young Girls in Prison /Teenage Runaway Butts

5. Mimi Miyagi
Republican gubernatorial candidate in the state of Nevada
Sex Trek II: The Search for Sperm /Amber the Lesbian Queefer/The Best of Oriental Anal 1/Freaks of Nature /Oriental Lust /Anal Asians /Orgasmic Orientals /Anal Adventures 1:/Anal Executive /Anal Asian/Anal Delights/Anal Climax 2 /Anal Fury /Anal Innocence/Chocolate & Vanilla Twist/Girlz n the Hood (1991) (V)

6. Charmane Star
My Space Too/Pu-Tang Dynasty/Whorientals Young, Hot & Bothered /Asian Sinsations /Cockasian /Asian Devastation /Cumstains 6 /Girlvana /Miso Horny /Three's Cumpany /Wank on Me /Weapons of Ass Destruction /Barely Legal Innocence /The ConnASSeur /East Eats West/Cumstains /18 and Lost in Asia/I Fucked Your Girlfriend /Wet Dreams Cum True 2/The Younger the Berry the Sweeter the Juice/Coed Cheerleaders Panty Uprising /United Colors of Ass 2/Up and Cummers 63

7. May Ling Su
Ateneo de Manila University Graduate I am reliably informed...
Max Faktor 2/Thinking XXX

I wonder if there are also Filipino actors. Maybe there are but don't expect Tiny Tim to be in it. Oh my god, I just had a laughing fit...maybe C-Lo, given her alleged halitosis, can appear in a film titled "Did you just give me oral because you left my cock smelling anal" but then again Ashley's friend has already been in "Oral or Anal, It no matter, look the same" or in Tagalog "Pwet or Mukha, Pareho lang" Nyahahahaha.

Ok, I'm off to Catholic mass now.

I was wondering...

I just got a new piece of art - a print of a Van Gogh's Sunflowers. Do you think it's the right size? It hangs rather well I must say. I quite enjoy seeing the flowers first thing in the morning - very fresh, very pert, the outer circle tan yellow surrounding the bold brown areola, mesmerising!

The Nashman's new art acquisition is the talk of the town.

Saturday, 29 March 2008

Low Key Birthday

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit and our austere birthday 'cakes'.

This is the first time I've 'celebrated' the day of my birth in Oxbarrio. This is also the most low-key birthday ever. Three years ago it was in Amsterdam, two years ago in Paris, last year in the Alps. This year, we can't be bothered to go anywhere. This year we thought about going down to London to watch the BoatRace but it's been raining so much the past three days, we'd rather have a lie-in and settle for watching it on television.

I hope I finish the thesis soon so we can have a proper celebration. For now, the food will be whatever is in the fridge.

Why the Philippines has Crap lawyers

My beloved Pelefins has one of the highest concentrations of lawyers. Every year, there is a big fuss about the results of the Bar Exams. I don't know why. I have not seen the same fanatical media coverage about new solicitors/attorneys in Europe or anywhere else.

There are very good lawyers, world-class ones, but sadly because of sheer numbers, there are far too many crap ones too. This year, the Supreme Court of the Philippines has LOWERED THE BAR. Shameful! Maybe tomorrow, they will round off pi to 4. Who knows?

The 22.91-percent passing rate for the 2007 bar would have been much lower, perhaps an all-time low of 5 percent, had the passing rate not been adjusted from the traditional 75 percent to 70 percent. "Due to unusually strict corrections, it was decided to lower the passing grade to 70 percent," Associate Justice Adolf Azcuna said in a press conference. Azcuna, chairman of the 2007 Bar Committee, said the committee had to adjust the passing grade from 75 to 70 percent on three subjects -- Civil Law, Criminal Law, and Social Legislation -- otherwise only five percent of 5,626 examinees will have made it. He added that the committee also decided to lower the disqualification rate on Labor and Civil Law from 50 to 45 percent.- PDI

I would have thought there would have been stringent conditions for CIVIL & CRIMINAL law. And how about Social Legislation? You've got to be good in that too, innit?

In the future, when, God Forbid, you need a lawyer, please ask to have a second look at those diplomas again (including transcript of records at certificate of good moral character) ala Teri Hatcher in Desperate Housewives..

Gloria Macapal Arroyo, A Freeloader like the Gucci Gang, nearly did a DJ Montano to a farmer

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Gloria Macapal Arroyo and her army of leeches nearly got away with crates of strawberries they picked for a photo-op. Had the farmer not gone to the media, he would not have been paid. No worries, we would have started a blog on his behalf to collect payment.

Gloria Arroyo, closet Gucci Gang ka pala! Staged Photo ops! Freeloader! Ay asis, sik-a ay bigis! Bankrapem da nan farmers ya maga-et di naitulong mo ya. Kababain!

You lie, you cheat...and now you want to follow in the footsteps of DJ Montano! You shameless bitch!

The Commander in Thief Gloria Arroyo caught in the act.

News Article from GMA

Friday, 28 March 2008

Burnham Lake Boat Race Tomorrow

Who to root for tomorrow at the races? It's the biggest sporting event of the month.

The Light Blues?

Or the Dark Blues?

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit have taken sides....Pero take note Ashley, kahit sino, win pa rin kami!

Thursday, 27 March 2008


Today, I rediscovered the rejuvenative power of the siesta and took two of them, each lasting no more than 30 minutes. This pretty girl knows it too.

Carla, I love you. If you are into short men, I'm 1 inch shorter than Nico.

Kahit na parang flight stewardess si Carla sa conservative outfit niya, she is still the hotness. Ashley, tingnan mo naman yung mga feathers sa ulo ni Camilla. Tila ginawa siyang parang kalabaw na tagahatak ng float sa santacruzan. And what are those dots, 101 dalmatians? Oh ha, gucci yung bag niya pero hindi siya member ng Gucci Gang. Bawal kasi peke sa kanila. (Wa ako masabi kay Charlie, alam mo namang binayaran niya kalahati tuition fee ko nung nasa AMA pa ako). Ewan ko lang what staunch socialist Carla found in right-winger Nico. Ang alam ng lahat, magaling mag-finger si Nico dahil nung ini-introduce siya kay Fafa Benedict last month, he was busy texting. Carla, iwan mo na si Nico, hindi ako madalas mag-text, I prefer oral.
What can you say? Carla looks like my lawyer Sarah M. They both have the same cheekbones. This is why I love them both. Walang pakialam ang madlang pipol sa state visit, it's Carla this and Carla that. Kahapon sa BBC puro Carla, Carla, Carla. I'm not complaining. We want more of Carla!
This is going for auction at Christie's. Taken by Comte during Carla's early modeling days. It's estimated at $2,000. Oh ha? Which first lady has this in their photo album? Meron bang ganyan si Ming Ramos? si Datin Badawi? si Evil Mike Arroyo kaya? 

Personally, I prefer to acquire prints of this photo. 

Close your eyes, and imagine how it could have looked: A Bikini joke not involving the morbidly obese member of The Gucci Gang

Froggies 1: England nil

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit welcome Kjartan Vilhjálmsdóttir who's going to live with us till June. Kjartan is from Babeland, (also known as Iceland). It's just the five of us at the mansion at the moment. Annie is sunbathing nude in some Greek Isle, Machi's flying off to Tokyo in a couple of hours, James is going to Vanuatu to teach English and shag idealistic Peace Corps volunteers from Idaho (lucky bastard), and I'm, er, finishing the Thesis....

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Hyphens are falling from the sky

Ashley, tingnan mo ito. Parang yung royal friend mo from Mindanao na nagnungulekta ng hyphen. Siya, dinag-dag nya hyphen niya dahil feel niya posh siya.....

"de Lacy" anu yun? panaderia?

Home at the Other Place

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit. What would I do without them?

Where is the butler? I want the usual please.

Utter Shit

What useless facts have we learned today? Celine Lopez has halitosis daw. Tim Yap has sucks cock in Boracay daw . Loren Legarda and Ed Angara are no longer a couple daw (were they). Imelda Relucio beats up her maids daw and she also wants to be Ambassador to Italy even if she's not a qualified Career Diplomat. The C-Lo's people apparently asked Google/Blogger to shut down this Aussie guy's blog daw and A-list pinoy bloggers such as yugatech and jester are raising the spectre of litigation by suggesting this act of linking alone may be libelous. Eeh? Are pinoy libel laws that stuuufid? Maybe it's time to benchmark it with other countries instead of being so scared for no reason. So what is it Pinoy A-List Bloggers? "We are the new media." "We cover what the mainstream media don't" "Tina Tinio and Malu Fernandez are ugly fatsos" And everyone talks in GG code. Who da ebak are these socialites anyway? I is sure they are loving the attention. Kaya nga self-confessed socialites sila eh. Don't mention names daw. Pwe, Pinoy Blogosphere, you are just as wimpy as my fart. And DJ Montano, pay up already. You stole money from an HIV-positive man! Naglipana mga jobless lawyers who are suddenly experts in cyber-law ek-ek. Puleezzzzz. Oddly enough, link-to-everything digitalfilipino is silent.

Erase the hate! Spread the love! Remember, Cocaine is a Class A drug! It's illegal to snort it anywhere!

PS. I have been informed that my friend jester is NOT an A-list blogger. His google adsense cheque isn't enough to buy a Gucci keychain. I apologise. There is no love lost.

PS2. (1) This post is more about our stupid libel laws (2) Cocaine - an evil drug with blood along its entire supply chain. Why should these people go scot-free? Jail their ass! (3) Politicians who have no experience and beat up their maids wanting to be Ambassadors. Go away Imelda Relucio! Become ambassador at the Embassy Club if you must. Leave Rome alone! Capisco? (4) I support free speech. Don't blame me for what I have not done. I have not snorted coke.

Nashman locuta est, causa finita est

Biik-fast..Oink, oink.

Hmmm, what have His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit prepared for brikpast....

It looks like halal/kosher pork apple bramley sausages, cabbage with lots of paprika, egg, and rice with sichimi....mmmm. O ha, Ashley, kaya ba yan ng favourite Embassy Club mo?

Monday, 24 March 2008

My Surgeon is Still on Speed Dial but tonight I'm Vegetarian

PA/PR Gromit and HRO Karl Willem are less than impressed with tonight's grub. I told them it's entirely vegetarian. It's got two food groups in it, carbo and tomato ketchup. Mmmmm. We really must go to the grocery tomorrow to do some shopping. I is getting fat. Celine Lopez/Nora Aunor penge naman ng sha..este slimming powder....

Sunday, 23 March 2008

My Heart Surgeon is on Speed Dial.....

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit wonder what is that thing covered with a torn page from the Philippine Daily Inquirer...

The dawgs sniff around....

Eeeeek! The dawgs are shocked! It's taba ng talangka (crab fats) from the fantabulous Trannies of Baguio City Market!!!!! (Tava ng talangka, tava ng talangka kayo diyan! Sigaw ng mga Sireyna) Take note - The bottle flew on Business Class unlike Malu Fernandez!

Glorious cholesterol trapped in a bottle!

Just spoon over steaming rice! Sure, it looks like buris (watery poo) and it will probably come out my anus looking pretty much the same when it entered my mouth, and it will probably reduce my life expectancy by 5 years, but goddammit, it's pure oral pleasure! Put taba ng talangka up my list of things better than sex. My imaginary girl friend can go pleasure herself with a twig, I'm bushed for the night.

Si Hesukristo, walang konsiyensiya! (Jesus Christ has NO conscience at all)....

...because when Jesus did the Washing of the Feet of the Apostles he did not use Safeguard (Approved by PAMET!). Har! Har! Har!

What's that thick and black thing between my legs?

Easter Breakfast

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit prepared finger-licking good Easter Breakfast.

Mmmm. O ha Ashley, kaya ba yan ng mga barkada mo sa Secosana Gang? Do they serve this at The Embahada? Or they only serve overpriced drinks and cocaine daw in the toilets? Ashley, please lang, tigil-tigilan mo na yang pag-gimik sa club ni Tiny Tim Yap. I-donate mo nalang pera mo sa charity. San Miguel beer for 250 pesoses a bottle? Bakit? Anong pinagkaiba ng San Miguel na iniinom ni Itich? Girl Celine Lopez sa San Miguel na iniinum ni Mang Abdul sa kanto? Pareho lang naman silang brewed and bottled in Pasig. Itanong mo pa kay Tito Andres S. As if naman merong magandang view ang Embahada Club na yan eh naglipana ang mga super bobo na pokpok. Remember the one time we were there? Sabi nung isa "Wow, this is a very sweet wine." Eh ga-boplaks, eh paanong hindi magiging sweet wine iyon eh grape juice lang naman yoon. Zesto nga lang yata na isinalang sa flute glass para magmukhang 'posh' at ma-uto ang mga pipol na it's worth P350. Buti nalang umalis tayo agad. Hindi naman porke't may konting pera tayo eh basta basta nalang nating lulustayin sa mga faux luxuries. Tsaka, kung magso-social climbing rin lang tayo, bakit pa sa mga taong from 'the poor side of the Family". Diba yung isa mong friend basta basta nalang tumuwad dahil ang apelyido nung mama eh hyphenated? "It will unite our two families" ang drama ng friend mo as if she were in some Enchanted Kingdom. Dios mio, pagkatapos ng kasal saka lang na-realize na 198th in line to the throne lang pala yung naka-bambam sa kanya. Ang masama pa nun, hindi niya na-realise na yung mga hyphens ng famille nila ay naka-isang revolution na. Super-inbred na sila kaya ayun, pinagpapasa-pasahan lang nila yung mga recessive genes...

Ashley, please lang, keep it real. Remember our roots.

O ha, crispy pusit, stir fried spinach, and long grain rice.

Kahit amoy pekpek ng Assumptionista, kaysarap sarap kamayin. Tulo laway ko. As in. Parang nakaharap sa akin sina Scarlett Johansson at Natalie Portman sabay sabing "Halika na, threesome tayo..." Mmm. mmm. mmmm....

Happy Easter: Hristos Anesti! Shhhhhh, don't tell the Jews!

Us: "Iesu, you can come down from the cross now, it's Easter. We have to get you ready for the grand finale dance number with the Apostles before your CGI-enhanced ascension up to heaven."
Jesus: "I can't. If you un-nail me, this balcony will come crashing down."

Saturday, 22 March 2008

From the His Royal Orangeness' Album: Jesus' Cross. Where it at? I hope Ikea didn't recycle it into a bookshelf

HRO Karl Willem does his "Life of Brian" sketch: The Romans. What have they ever done for us?

You want us to go where? I asked His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem (or Carlos Guillermo as he is known in Spain).

HRO Karl Willem wanted to visit the only 12-sided Templar Church left standing - the Iglesia Vera Cruz.

And why must this small shrine be so important, apart from the fact that it was built by the Templar Knights?

It's because it once contained an alleged fragment of the cross where Jesus was crucified. The Templars kept vigil over it until something happened...I forgot...was it the subprime crisis that brought their banking business down?

So off we went.... (we also advised the Police that we were going there so that it could be cleared of the religious nutters, Dan Brown fans, and conspiracy theorists. Puleez, ayaw naming makisalamuha sa kanila.)

That's Iglesia de la Vera Cruz built in the early 13th century and the village in the background is Zamarramala (where the relic has been moved). HRO Karl Willem and I were on top of the Alcazar de Segovia.

A 12 sided church...modeled after the one in Jerusalem.

HRO Karl Willem takes a brief respite from the heat. Spain in the middle is ridiculously hot desert. You wonder what the hell those Templars were thinking when they thought this was a good place to build a shrine.

HRO Karl Willem and the Templar altar, where the Knights put the fragment of Jesus' cross.

Imagine having to sit here all day keeping vigil.

HRO Karl Willem in the upper chamber.

HRO Karl Willem takes a rare picture of The Nashman.