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Monday, 30 June 2008

Our own SW19

One of my housemates, the posh hyphenated one, is a Londoner and actually lives in SW19 and so his local tennis association is Wimbledon. Since we all can't go due to our 'busy' schedules, we chopped off the poles of our badminton net and made a tennis court, albeit with a net height more suited for hobbits. Sadly, our grass is not good enough for lawn tennis and so the ball doesn't bounce that well. Nevertheless, we are content children. We are after all living in a decrepit mansion and the lawnmower man only comes every other week. Atsaka, wa pa kami pulot boy, everytime I serve up my 30mph aces, it goes all the way past the bakod and then I have to wait for it to be pulot. Nakakasira ng flow.


My poor performance for today I put the blame entirely on Pag-asa and my cheap (£80) racket.

The Nashman awaits the other semi-finalist..Incidentally, whatevs happened to Felix Barrientos? Me want to know out of curiosity...

Achievers


Torres sucks.

I have no comment on Pacquiao's recent win because I have not seen it. I hope he decides to fight Hatton next so that I can watch it live in Manchester.

Aaanyways, the Spaniards are really walking with a well-earned swagger now. Today, I saw some kids walking on the high street with Spanish flags used as capes. Every news article has the words 'underachiever' and 'inferiority complex' and how this team banished them. (And who would have thought that a former empire even had an 'inferiority complex?) I must say, they played beautiful football in the tournament and I am not a football expert and have not been into the sport for a long time but I then that's how good they are that even I notice. It was fun to watch. I hope this same team gets to play Argentina and Brasil soon.

Incidentally, we all know about Torres' thumbsucking and how men make beso-beso each other in the continent (and in Spain, you make lots of smacking sounds while at it) but is it just me or did Kulot Puyol's lips linger a lot longer than usual on Torres' cheeks during the celebrations? I swore he also let his tongue out...


Kodak moment. Ashley, ano ka na ulit? Front row or back row?

Things you cannot do with our beloved Philippine Flag.

Presenting some things you CAN NOT do with the Philippine Flag. Well, you probably can but it may be illegal. The Philippine flag is a magical piece of cloth that must be revered under strict protocols. I'm NOT a nationalist, or overtly patriotic, but sometimes I wanna bring a Philippine Flag to my gigs because I'm proud of being Flipinoy (without the nationalist/patriotic ek-ek) but then some protocol officer sends me a nasty email about how I handle the Philippine flag and that I'm disrespectful to it. (Really? You RESPECT a piece of cloth?? The Flag is not the Philipines ano and the Flag is NOT the Filipino. It's a SYMBOL. Pwidi ba, tigil-tigilan niyo yang kaartehan niyo. Kaya ayan. My Philippine Flag will stay in its box!)

You cannot use the Philippine flag as a cape. Even if you suddenly get superpowers.

The Philippine Flag cannot be used as a functional bandana.

..or as a wristband.

So that the Public May Know: Pac You All

Plagiarized from Rev. Frank

The Tongressmen who went to see Bush and Pacquiao at your expense (Mabuhay! That's how little you deserve our trust):

Rep. Narciso Santiago III, Alliance for Rural Concerns Party List Group
Rep. Monico Puentevella, Bacolod
Rep. Albert Garcia, Bataan
Rep. Mark Llandro L. Mendoza, Batangas
Rep. Hermilando Mandanas, Batangas
Rep. William Irwin Tieng, Buhay Party List Group
Rep. Jose Zubiri III, Bukidnon
Rep. Lorna Silverio, Bulacan
Rep. Mitzi Cajayon, Caloocan
Rep. Diosdado "Dato" Macapagal Arroyo, Camarines Sur
Rep. Joseph Santiago, Catanduanes
Rep. Elpidio Barzaga Jr., Cavite
Rep. Antonio Cuenco, Cebu
Rep. Eduardo Gullas, Cebu
Deputy Speaker Raul Del Mar, Cebu City
Rep. Rommel Amatong, Compostela Valley
Speaker Prospero Nograles, Davao City
Rep. Antonio Lagdameo, Davao Del Norte
Rep. Marc Cagas, Davao Del Sur
Rep. Nelson Dayanghirang, Davao Oriental
Rep. Teodolo Coquilla, Eastern Samar
Rep. Andres Salvacion, Leyte
Rep. Ferdinand Martin G. Romualdez, Leyte
Rep. Trinidad Apostol, Leyte
Rep. Ma. Zenaida Angping, Manila
Rep. Amado S. Bagatsing, Manila
Rep. Bienvenido Abante Jr., Manila
Rep. Rizalina Seachon-Lanete, Masbate
Rep. Herminia Ramiro, Misamis Occidental
Rep. Yevgeny Emano, Misamis Oriental
Rep. Rozzano Rufino Biazon, Muntinlupa
Rep. Joseph Gilbert Violago, Nueva Ecija
Deputy Speaker Ma. Amelita C. Villarosa, Occidental Mindoro
Rep. Anna York Bondoc, Pampanga
Rep. Aurelio Gonzales Jr., Pampanga
Rep. Juan Miguel Macapagal Arroyo, Pampanga
Rep. Conrado Estrella III, Pangasinan
Rep. Ma. Rachel Arenas, Pangasinan
Rep. Eduardo C. Zialcita, Parañaque
Rep. Roman Romulo, Pasig City
Rep. Mary Ann Susano, Quezon City
Rep. Nanette C. Castelo-Daza, Quezon City
Rep. Danilo Suarez, Quezon Province
Rep. Junie Cua, Quirino
Rep. Arturo B. Robes, San Jose Del Monte
Rep. Roger Mercado, Southern Leyte
Rep. Munir Arbison, Sulu
Rep. Rex Gatchalian, Valenzuela City
Rep. Antonio Diaz, Zambales


The perks:
$300-5000 - Willard Hotel rate with 30 rooms booked. $400-500 - Dinner per plate. $207++ - Airline rate per person, $800-1000 - Rental per car with 30 cars rented. P100,000 per member of the Team Pac You.

The House Speaker of the Philippine Congress, Prospero Nograles, was allegedly caught running naked in a Manila hotel after the husband of his lover caught them in the act.

Sunday, 29 June 2008

Commandogs

A lot of people are wondering where His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit are these days. The fans miss them.

Well, they have gone deep into the wild and untamed woodlands of Middle England to brush up on their Commandog skills.

No, they do it purely for fitness and mental sharpening purposes. We are not violent dawgs and HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit have not joined the Hukbaladog movement.


PA/PR Gromit alias Commandog Dante...(yes, we is tempted to spout sick lines from Pinoy movies but we is not going to.)

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit blending with the environment...

Close reconnaisance under camouflage is a mandatory skill. You want to breathe down the necks of your enemies and spook them without them realising you are even there.

PA/PR Gromit strikes a Rambo pose.

While in the woods the dawgs have to survive on their wits and hurdle major obstacles.

...And use all natural materials for shelter without hurting the environment...It's a tough training regimen.

After a forthnight, HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit return to our decrepit mansion. It's good to have the dawgs back home.

Irony

Saturday, 28 June 2008

The End of An Era

In October this schoolyear, the last remaining girls' college admits boys....all good things must come to end...

Skimpy nighties row at all-girls' Oxford college
by JAMES MILLS, Daily Mail

Coming down to breakfast in your nightie shows you really feel at home. Unfortunately, it can also show a little more flesh than others might feel comfortable seeing. Which is why students of St Hilda's college at Oxford University have been ordered to dress properly for breakfast. Some were arriving for their morning cup of tea wearing the naughtiest of nightgowns. Or pyjamas that left little to the imagination. They claimed that with no men (actually not true, dahil pwede matulog doon mga boy friends) in the all-female halls of residence, there was no need for decorum. But the kitchen staff - particularly the handful of men among them - hardly knew where to look. (Sus, maniwala!) Revealing nightwear best left to the boudoir has now been banned. The order to cover up has not gone down well with students, however, who claim breakfasting in their nightclothes
is one of the privileges of studying at an all-girls college.

Arielle Goodley, a 20-year-old English literature and psychology student, received a written warning for wearing a lacy nightie and skimpy dressing gown after the ban was imposed. (Bakit nyo naman bi-nan si Neneng. Hayaan na natin siya.) 'This would not happen back home. I think they are being too prudish,' said Miss Goodley, at Oxford for a year as part of a four-year degree at Wellesley College, Boston.'Back at home we can go to breakfast wearing whatever we like. You can wander around in whatever clothes you choose and no one bats an eyelid. 'I thought St Hilda's would have the same modern attitude, but it seems to be stuck in the past. 'Surely one of the benefits of not having men around is that we can turn up for breakfast wearing whatever we want. 'They are claiming that it makes the young male serving staff uncomfortable, but we know that's not true. (Turo laway naman siguro mga serbidores nila.) Whenever we've asked the men themselves, they say it doesn't bother them at all. (Duh, siempre! Bakit naman aangal ang mga boys.) 'In reality it's the older women working there who seem to be making a fuss.' (Shades of Manoling Morato and the MTRCB) She is the latest to receive a sternly-worded letter from college dean Dr Amanda Cooper-Sarkar advising her to 'dress appropriately' for breakfast. But she claimed she was picked out unfairly. 'My nightie was hardly revealing,' she insisted. 'I mean, it wasn't buttoned up to the neck but it wasn't that bad. 'It was the kind of thing you would wear during the day and certainly a lot less revealing than anything that you might wear to go out in the evening. We all go to dinner dressed ready for going out and there's a lot more on show then.' Miss Goodley admitted some of the students had pushed the boundaries to see what skimpy outfits they could get away with, but added: 'No one's gone to breakfast naked yet.' (Ay, KJ naman...) One however, was said to have arrived wearing so little that fellow students were 'able to see everything'. (Bakit wala ako nung araw na yun!) Dr Cooper-Sarkar defended the decision on the basis that the kitchen staff felt uncomfortable. She said: 'It's not just see-through dresses, it's draped sheets or even draped bath towels. 'It's in response to a request from the kitchen staff who are embarrassed. (Fota, patalsikin ang mga prudish kitchen staff na ito.) 'The code is simply that students dress as they would outside the college.'


It's really sad. Now I will never bother to go St. Hilda's for Sunday Brunch.

During my first year, I once attended a lecture in my pyjamas. It's liberating. Bawal kasi sa SLU dahil alam niyo naman, sa ating mga Orientals, we are concerned about 'saving face' and 'appearances' na walang kinalaman sa practicalities.

Why I love my Parents

My mother rang me up this morning. "Here, talk to your dad, he can't speak, he has a sore throat."

Brilliant.

I'm duvetted, and I can't get up...

I'm so knackered. Thank god for laptops and wifi as I can stay in bed while wondering out loud on the internets. So what did I do yesterday....


The week ended with an INDOOR garden party to celebrate summer. The usual, strawberries and cream with sparkling wine. I had FOUR servings of istroberi and glasses upon glasses of Chardonnay.

Guard, palabasin siya, bawal tsinelas dito.

My work week ends with the cross country train ride back to Oxbarrio with fine views of the English countryside, oh so green and pretty....

...er, spoke too soon. Well, to me, those cooling towers are beautiful. What can I do? I is a semi-geek engineer...If that view fails to impress you then....

...my friend's ass, making love to the side of a train seat.

After taking a long soak in the bath, I cycled to college at 9pm only to find that "Bones" a US TV series was still filming. Ilalabas ko palang tsipi-angga na camera ko this alalay says "Bawal picture". Shet, binigyan ko siya ng Hindi mo ba ako kilala? look. Anyways, sige na nga, never heard naman yang TV show niyo sabi ko, waste of degetal pelm. Mga Amerikano talaga, paranoid androids, as if naman sikat mga "istars" daw, ni di ko nga kilala actors nila eh.

Aaaanyways, at 10pm, cycled halfway across town to the northern edges for my friend's birthday. We've had a rocky love-hate relationship, J and me. I love her, she hates me.


The blow.

It's got a football motif because my friend is a goalie.

The make your own drink bar. I loves houseparties. Respec to the Polish beers, they is quite good.

I guess this means Spain will win Euro 2008

Cards are better than greetings on Fezbook! Old School rulz.

The white shirt is back in fashen....

Aanyways, back to bed.

Advert: Advance Copies, Signed and Boxed Limited Edition £35 (RRP £75)....This is a nice gift for me my dear friends, you know who you are...buy!





Friday, 27 June 2008

"I beat Sharapova because I did not like her outfit" - Alla

Me too. I want to go there and rip Maria's outfit...phwoar...

Do you want cream with that?

Frank 2

PUTANG-INANG SHIT ulit yang Sulpicio Lines! Now they are blaming Pag-Asa! Duh!!!!!! It's 2008 anooooooooooooooooooooh! If Sulpicio Lines were a competent and intelligent shipping company they would have easily taken 100 weather forecasts off the US/Australian/Japanese Weather Advisories which are FREELY available ONLINE with matching COLOURED graphs!!!!! An NO ONE can predict what a typhoon is going to do with certainty! They just want to maximise profits! Shit talaga.

An example of a free real-time weather monitor! Surfers from Ilocos, San Juan, to Baler use such sites to check out swells! They are accurate up to 50 meters. Okinnayo nga Sulpicio Lines, click lang ng mouse di niyo pa magawa!

Another free wave forecast site used by surfers! Sometimes, we can even see the scale go up to red specially in the areas close to Palawan...It's all on the internet for FREE!

Thursday, 26 June 2008

Finally, Espana gets the monkey off its back...


Spain finally escapes the orbit of underachievement and flies to the Euro finals.

I was nervous all day before the match. We've seen it all before, a top-ranked team loaded with so much talent choking during the endgame. Finally the curse has been broken. Iker Casillas was "Out of Order" and didn't let the Russians excrete another shock victory.

Pero in fernez, nakakabading yang Russong Arshavin na yan, muntik ko na siyang ipagpalit kay fafa Silva. Dapat nga bilhin siya ng Barcelona or an English team para makita natin kung may talents nga talaga yang batang iyan, kung kaya niyang makipagsabayan kina Sisters Ronaldo at Ronaldinho. Ang payo ko kay Manny Pangilinan, sige keep wasting your money on Basketball. Pang Araneta Coloseum lang yang Ateneo Blue Eagles mo, they will never be good enough to do Maracana or Bernabeu or Wembley or even Madison Square Garden dahil the world will never catch up with MIDGET basketball. Think big, think of the 80 Million talent pool we have. Football is where it's at.

Aaanyways, check out Mang Ising's pabaon for me today........


Chicken nuggets na homemade from real chicken (nakita kong niluluto niya with TLC), hindi yan Purefoods na hindi mo alam kung saan galing at puro preservatives. Talagang pina-amoy ko sa lahat ng people ang amoy ng pinoy cooking.

So what was news today? Let's see.....


Hmmm, a study on the survival chances based on your seat number. Business class, low survival rate? I'm willing to pay to upgrade Malu Fernandez' seat.

It's summer. Speedo is so baduy. I've ordered a Borat Mankini from Firebox.com. You should too.

Finally, there be some baaaaaaaaad ass birds out there.....


Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Lahm schießt Deutschland ins Finale


I feel sad for Turkey, they played really well against a static German team but it was not to be a fairy tale final. (Thank god there was something to distract me from Ana today!)

Frank

Putang-inang shit yang Sulpicio lines na yan to call the sinking of their ferry an 'act of god'. It's a man-made disaster! You do not let sail a poorly maintained passenger ship that is safely docked with a typhoon in the vicinity. We don't even need accurate weather forecasts! We just need to know that a typhoon is present because no one can predict with total certainty what it's going to do. 

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

Pataasan ihi...


Shet, nung pag-abot sa akin ng calling card, nawindang ako..He took all the letters of the alphabet and I was left speechless and at a loss for words. But then, I regained my composure, I'm sure he does not have a Barangay and NBI clearances and certificate of GMC from the principal...and I have attended lots of multilevel-marketing seminars. Daig ko pa rin siya..

What doG has put together, let no man put asunder....


It was love at first sight....Oh, oh babe

Yeah bitch, I'm going to do you doggy style...Can't get enough of your love babe

Oh no, babe/My darling, I can't get enough of your love babe/Yeah, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why/Can't get enough of your love babe/Oh my darling, I can't get enough of your love babe/Oh babe

Whoa! Hey! Let go! Bad human! Bad Human!

Seriously, what the fuck is up with that biped? C'mon! That's so not cool. She's messing with the NATURAL law. I mean how would this couple...


..feel if someone suddenly went up to them and said they could not make out in the park????

Paki ko kina Rafa???

The BBC have Boris Becker, John McEnroe, and Tim Henman as Joe Cantadas. At one point, Bjorn Borg joined in. In a way, it's nice to have expert commentators (talagang kapanipaniwala lalo na ng sabihin ni Boris na "Djokovic plays like we used to do in the 80s") unlike the morbidly obese and vertically challenged people who commentate in the Philippine Basketball Association (boring na nga, you have to roll your eyes everytime they ejaculate a useless trivia. Gusto mong sumigaw, "Hoy pandak, ikaw, kaya mo magrebound?").

They have been talking about how it could be Rafa's year and expressing their doubts on the Fed. Sa akin naman "WA AKO PAKI!" because, this year I'm only going to watch the girls.....


Mmmmm....strawberries and cream....

And thank god/Xenu for the BBC. All the games are streamed live on their website! Kunwari concentrate ka sa office, yun pala you is watching the tennis....kay saya saya...

Monday, 23 June 2008

Snap Photo Assault: Dinner, as usual.


I got this very very fragrant flower from the graveyard next to the mansion. And no, I did NOT steal it from a wreath para sa patay, it's from a rose bush growing in the graveyard. Besides, it's not as if dead people can still appreciate it, they're dead ano. The organic fertiliser must have contributed to its very wonderful smell. Siempre, ang mga girls, lean over to make amoy the bulaklak. At habang ginagawa nila yon, I can make silip sa djoga nila. O diba? May natutunan nanaman kayo sa akin.

It's tradition to drink bubbly before dinner. I've managed to get drunk immediately by drinking lots. Then I saw the seating arrangement. Shet, ang katabi ko matanda na diplomat so I told the butler to make lipat me to the low table nalang. Lumapit ang dear Principal pinagpipilitang sa high table ako umupo pero sabi ko ayaw kong tumabi sa patay...besides, I wanted updates of the Spain-Italy game and this could only be done discreetly if I was sat on the far end. (Well, ang totoong reason, ok lang yung katabi ko, yung kaharap ko ang may problema. May LQ kami ni A kaya ayaw ko sa table niya. Tingnan nalang natin sinong unang bibigay.)

Aaanyways, I was wondering why our motif tonight was green. So let's see, who's who...ooops, apparently, we are under a news embargo, baka kami ma-tabloid.

The food for tonight. Wala niyan sa Trinoma.

Suspiciously looking like the Italian tri-colours. Strange, the fabulous kitchen staff of college are Spanish.

Thank god it was lamb.

The most important part of dinner is the port. It's one of those sweet drinks that you keep gulping down forgetting that it's around 20% alcohol.

You will notice there are FEW strawberries - most are all in Wimbledon for a fortnight.

A lot of the girls were wearing feathers. (Katatapos rin kasi ng Ascot). Feel yata ni sister mag-audition para sa Mulawin. I can assure you they are not from endangered birds.

The aftermath...

Photo sessions follow...(but we will save that for later...I promised Yes Magazine full exclusivity)

And finally......

The sad reality is that Pinoy Superspy The Nashman does not drive an Aston Martin...

Friends don't let friends cycle drunk....The Nashman so wasted he can't even start his bicycle..

Midnight view of Oxbarrio from my room. Grabe I was so drunk hindi manlang kami nakapaglaro ng jack en poy..paghiga, diretso tulog ako.