Pages

Thursday, 30 July 2009

Putang Ina Talaga

Carlo J. Caparas has been given the title of "National Artist"...what the fuck! Bakeeeeeeeeet!!!!

Pulis Escort


The Nashman, being a member of the Royal House of Patay Gutom Blogger, is provided one discreet police escort everytime he mingles with the masa. Alam niyo naman, maraming inggitero lalo na yung mga exiled royals of the Sultanate of Culiat and its Environs. They want me out of the way so they can ascend to the throne of Awesomeness.

The Royal Mounted Police of Baguio on their Imaginary Unicorns stop traffic so The Nashman's Royal Jeepney convoy can pass.

Ah, thank god the police of Baguio are not as Fat, Corrupt, or Incompetent as the lowland species. That car is past the yellow line on a red light and will be punished. Full cavity body search, ngayun din!

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

GDP and all that shit....

Gloria Arroyo can talk about low inflation rates and increasing GDP but she's a bad economist ( we all know she's a congenital liar and her family is corrupt) if she thinks we can achieve first world status without addressing our population rate.

As we all know, sex, is one of the best, healthiest, and cheapest pastimes. The Catholic Church Monkeys from the CBCP can go fuck themselves because we'd rather shag and get endorphins than pray the rosary.

The Philippines has 90 million people this year growing at 2% each year. The NCR is growing at 2.11% per year while the Cordilleras at 1.5%.

The most unprotected kantuteros are those in Calabarzon, growing at 3.24% per year and our brothers in ARMMs, growing at a ridiculous 5.46%.

Cruelty to Cory Aquino

Am I the only one who thinks that all those prayers to PROLONG Cory Aquino's life is a bit cruel? Hello?

She's nearly 80, her cancer has metastasised, and she has opted not to take any more treatment. There is NO CURE.

Why do you pray to prolong her pain????? Let her go in peace. She's accomplished more on earth than 99% of people who outlive her. Let her go, Ninoy needs kinky ribbon action too you know.

The Nashman went to church to pray....
Hello, party line? Pakibaba. Ring ring...

We is not praying to prolong Cory's pain but rather for the woeful Philippine Basketball team to win at least one game in international tournament.

Monday, 27 July 2009

Anatomy of a protest


It's cheating lying corrupt bitch Gloria Macapagal Arroyo's last SONA. The Nashman wasn't supposed to be in Manila but here I am.

We is wondering if it's worth going to the Bastusang Pambansa to have a closer look. We is also wondering if Manila rallies are just as fun as Paris rallies with all those pretty girls and cannabis joints being passed around....or London rallies which has rave parties on the side....or Prague rallies which are ridiculously drunk with all that slivovice....or Spanish rallies which end just in time for happy hour at the tapas bar...

I've put my hand outside the window. As usual it's hot and humid. Argh, rubbernecking thwarted by the sticky Manila weather....

A typical Madrid protest rally. It gets very hot in Madrid so protesters tend to dress appropriately. (And no, this is not a Spencer Tunick piece.)
Hey, amigo, is that your cojones rubbing against my face?
That guy on the bottom left is surreptitiously doing the nasty.
Poor amigo on the right...no one to spoon but the pavement.
Now that guy on top isn't a protester...he's the resident park exhibitionist.
Don't be takot...let's make baka! The state must provide for daily spooning!

Friday, 24 July 2009

Rumblings

The people at the hotel lobby looked at me suspiciously. I asked which ballroom. The registration committee also looked at me from head to foot. My standard response: Hmmph, these people. Unless the Philippines is no longer a tropical country I will continue to wear comfortable clothes. Shorts, untucked cotton shirt, and trainers.

I scanned the room. As usual, there were ladies wearing scarves, some of the men were in suits, and some, bizarrely, jacket clad. And you want to talk about global warming and energy costs when the aircon is in full blast so that these people can get to wear inappropriate clothes in the tropics.

Hey, what do you know. I'm sitting on a full service table for lunch. Next to the UN head of Disarmament. She's so funny, fiesty, undiplomatic. I love her. The inappropriately dressed people? They had to queue for the buffet table.

*****************************************

I took a padyak to Taft from my hotel. I wanted to do a Mar Roxas and pay the cyclist so that I get to pedal. But he didn't trust me. Being a passenger on a pedicab in Manila is so scary. You're inside a tarpaulin shell with no view of where you are going. You are also sat very low and car wheels are at eye level. Crossing Taft Avenue is the scariest bit. Still, the cyclist managed to weave through the thick traffic. Scary but efficient.

*****************************************

One of lying and cheating bitch Gloria Arroyo's most vocal critics offered to lend us his car so we can go eat at one highly recommended eatery. Take my car, take my car he said. Thank God my host declined. I don't want to be dead in a case of mistaken identity in case that evil hobbit GMA has commanded her praetorians to start silencing her critics. Instead, we walked. Which in Manila, is just as dangerous.

*****************************************

I went to the Museum of the Filipino People. Most of the galleries were closed. At least I saw the San Diego wreck and the Manununggul death jar. And Julian Schnabel. I'm so sorry, I don't get THESE Julian Schnabel works. Filmmaker yes, these pieces, no.

*****************************************

Is it raining? We wondered as we walked hand in hand along the bay as the sun set. Is it drizzling? Is it drizzling? We're idiots. We didn't notice the winds lifting up spray from the waves. We were getting Manila Bay water on our faces. EWWWWWWWW! Yuck!!!!

*****************************************

A table full of DSLR photobloggers (you know them, they have lens caps and lens hoods on their lenses. As Linus says, Pros dont bother with lens caps and lens hoods) next to us laughed and made mocking faces at Kaytee's Lomo. I agree, the Lomo's build quality is quite pathetic. But then again Kaytee also has a Leica. Which is how I first really noticed her. I'm such a geek. I'll pick Leica Girl any day than Nikon D90 Girl with lens cap and hood at the next table.

******************************************

One should always have a faggot Best Friend Forever (along with the platonic girlfriends, the high school barkada for eternity, and the hot love interest). Ashley's cupboard is amazing. It's full of culinary exotica. Rose petals from Lebanon! Belgian Chocs! Tunisian spices! He also makes homemade humus. Who needs to eat out in expensive Manila when you can go raid your gay BFF's kitchen for delicious treats.

******************************************

A $48M Mosque in Mindanao is off by 23 degrees! Hilarious! 1 degree I can understand, 2 degrees I'll be annoyed, 3 degrees I'll be shouting at people....but TWENTY FRICKING THREE degrees offset??? Hello? This is an ancient religion with a very strong mathematical tradition! What happened to the Pinoy Moslems?? Was anti-science blabbermouth Chiz Escudero successful in removing basic math and science in the Mindanao Basic Education curriculum??? The Nashman does not espouse violence (nor is he religious) but if you decide to cane the contractors and planners for this stupidity, I will turn a blind eye.

Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Away we go...

This is how The Nashman rolls baby.
The tricycle sputtered and stalled and the carriage lifted the bike off the ground many times as it struggled over mud and grit....

...then we had to give up and walk the 5km to the sanctuary. Where exactly? Nope, not sharing.

Sunday, 19 July 2009

You is just jealous coz The Nashman has his own personal jacuzzi


No one here but refreshing falls, orchids, rare birds, and The Nashman

Saturday, 18 July 2009

The Dogs from Ipanema

Joining a chariot race?...

Run Forest, Run.

Is it just The Nashman or are there lots of dogs with missing limbs in Rio de Janeiro? Were they innocent victims of some drug related gun battles? Nevertheless, these dogs are still lucky. Rio de Janeiro is one of the best cities in the world.

Friday, 17 July 2009

To commemorate the July 16, 1990 Baguio Killer Earthquake





More Benguet Signs Explain So You is not Confuse


Next, Free Facials. Bring your own face towel and palanggana.

Putang-ina mo rin. Shet. Gadet. Isang order pa na may kasamang Putang-ina.

I want a pet drum too!

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Snap Photo Assault: The Dawgs Glide to Tabor



Where? What's that? were two of the questions His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and The Nashman asked PA/PR Gromit when he suggested we stop there on our way to Prague. PA/PR Gromit quickly brought us up to speed: Tabor was the centre of the Hussite movement, proper Bohemians those Hussies led by Zizka, beating the evil Papal armies many times over (romantic); Tabor has 15th century tunnels which was also used for storing beer kegs (yummy); it's a university town (phwoar!); and it's got the oldest dam in Central Europe (hmmm). Of course there's the usual Bohemian goodies such as architecture, cafes, pubs, and pretty natives.


Ok, where to? We need to get our bearings.

The Nashman manages to get a city guide and a map for orientation.

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit welcome you to the great Hussite city of Tabor....

...and to the oldest dam in central Europe. Oh, it turns into ice when it's cold...

....a FIFTY hectare ice rink!

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit and the mandatory photo for touristic purposes...

...then it's off to play pick up hockey with the natives. Who is our favourite Czech player? Satan of course. Ooops, ok, sorry, Satan is actually Slovakian. (A word of warning: A high level of personal embarrassment is required if you do play with the natives. They happen to be really really really good at this sport. Wonder why.)

Head bowed in shame, the painful walk home in the freezing darkness whereupon a sign is bound to give you another headache....

Ok...4 words...house on a ski...boy playing football....car........Sorry! Time is up! You've missed the jackpot round.

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit got us cool lodgings above a pub. Above a pub, that's way cool.

Our view.

Our shower has nipples.

The Nashman takes a shower before heading out for dinner.

It's below freezing outside so the offer of Vodka plus Hell is too hard to resist.

The best chicken inasal this side of Bohemia.

Czech beer is so good, you just keep gulping down the golden liquid. Hey, did I tell you Tabor is a University town? You would not believe how pretty, friendly, and helpful the girls here are. It's ridiculous. The dawgs of course were very popular.

Early in the morning, HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit and The Nashman took a walk in the woods. Strange huh? Last night we were in the city, the morning after we wake up in a cabin deep in the woods.

The dawgs find their way back to the Jordan Dam...ooh, it's got pristine snow...

...let's write The Nashman's name in big bold letters 20 feet high...

...you can see it from outer space...

The dawgs, happy hung-over ice vandals.

Oh look, it's lunch already...Why don't we have more 24-hour clocks in the world?