Monday, 31 August 2009

Grass Dinner

Don't throw away the leaves of lemongrass as you can use it as a steamer base for tanguigue... shown. Tanguigue marinated in secret spices and black sesame seeds.

While the fish steams and the rice is fried, Momo, the perspicacious Siamese Conyo cat chillaxes.

Done in 30 minutes. Turmeric cumin rice with solar dried alamang, tanguigue steamed over lemongrass, and chopped tomatoes. Just coz we is poor don't mean we can't eat well innit?

Puta Pandan

1. Make your rice flour. Grind rice in blender, sieve, return rough bits caught on sieve, blend, sieve, return.
2. Blitz pandan leaves in milk. Strain using your girlfriend's unused stockings.
3. Add brown sugar, baking powder, whisk.
4. Put on molds, add queso on top
5. Steam
6. Eat.

Viola, quick, simple, organic puta pandan.


Sunday, 30 August 2009

Snap Photo Assault: Snappy Subjects

Two days before Dear Leader Gloriadijenad defiled Baguio with her stench as announced by self-congratulatory streamers ordered by her lackey, Philippine MisInformation Agency Cordillera Director Helen Tibaldo, The Nashman was able to review the troops.

Unlike Gloria Arroyo and Helen Tibaldo, our courageous cadets actually know the meaning of "Honesty" and "Integrity". Whether they will continue to adhere to the honor code when they leave the academy is another story but for now, the cadets are expected to be the best of the best. After all, they are the true "Iskolar ng Bayan", given free education and guaranteed jobs upon graduation from the PMA.

"Sir, it's like, bubuhos the ulan and we will be basa. Can we just postpone for later na kasi it's so malamig" is something an Atenista would say...

...but for these guys, the show must go on. Even if it's ONLY The Nashman watching.

Oooh, furled banners. I hope those are not the moronic self-congratulatory tarpaulins ordered by GMA's Baguio lackey Helen Tibaldo and paid for by taxpayers.

100 demerits for back row cadet for turning around, distracted no doubt by The Nashman's garish pink umbrella. (Well, it was raining and I borrowed the umbrella from my mother)

Let's make sulong. Isang hakbang, dalawang kembot.

Ok, I need 300 of you to go man the gates. Don't let the evil Gloria Arroyo in.

Cosplay Phail

Kwentong Victory Bus

The Nashman is a very calm and chillaxed being but some events trigger homicidal tendencies in him. One event is when an uber-jologs couple who loves taking arm tripod photos themselves and of the shotcrete of Marcos Highway start treating the Victory Bus music as a sing-along.


With pa-emote emote pa at shoulder sway ang pagkanta nila. Putang-enang shet. Ang balance of the universe, nasira. Gusto ko silang ihulog sa bangin. Buti sana kung maganda selection ng muzak eh alam naman nating mga Air Supply at Peter Cetera ang tinutogtog sa bus.

Moral of the story: Always charge your MP3 player before boarding the Victory Liner bus to Manila.

Hay, salamat, napagod rin ang Jolina at Marvin at nakatulog rin sa Pangasinan. Naka-intertwine pa ha.

Holy Shet, nagising sila sa Tarlac at biglang sumali kay Bon Jovi. Putang enang shet, from "You give love a bad name" to "Bed of Roses" alam ang lyrics. Asan si National Artiste Carlo J. Caparas when you need something chopped.

Peace and quiet resumes at the NLEX. Ay ang sweet, sana unti-untihin sila ng langgam.

The Nashman finally arrived at Katipunan HQ and helped Ashley prepare a Le Cirque type dinner.

Bangus frit, riz cuit a la vapeur, salad fraiche avec le poulpe. Gawin nating french para magmukhang mamahalin. That will be P1430, monsieur, with P160 service charge and P1240 for le ambiance

Please congratulate The Nashman for making tawid EDSA from Victory Cubao terminal to the LRT2 line carrying 4 kilos of rootcrop. They had to inspect it very well at the LRT. Apparently, no one there knows what raw ube looks like.

Sa mga hindi nakaka-alam ito po ang purple gold ng Benguet. It is naturally purple and prized by the convents of Baguio.

The Nashman made low-sweet all natural ube. Walang halong harina o kamote yan! All natural goodiness.

Friday, 28 August 2009

Your Taxes are Working for You, Baguio, on Your 100th year

We must be awash with money.

President Gloria Arroyo's local Baguio lackey Helen Tibaldo orders the uglification of Baguio City by spending taxpayers money on the printing of tarpaulins congratulating themselves. To be plastered all over the city, as if the local garbage is not enough.

Hindi ba malaking kagaguhan ito? It's like writing your own biographical entry on Wiki.

This government is either shameless or stupid. Or both. At least we know our Information Agency, headed by Helen Tibaldo, is following dear leader Gloria Arroyo's lying ways.

Salamat Pangulong Gloria Arroyo Mula sa Urban Poor na nabawasan ang Pondo dahil ginagastos sa mga kalokohang tarpaulin na walang katuturan at pawang kasinungalingan.

Helen Tibaldo should resign because this is MISInformation at the taxpayers' expense! Agbain tayo met bassit ah.

See kababain article here. Helen R. Tibaldo should be nominated for National Artist in Misinformation. Tama na, sobra na yang puro kasinungalingan sa gobyerno.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Kabunian's Party trick....

...and now, I will make Mt. Cabuyao disappear.....AbracadabraUkinamGloria... voila!

Kabunian entertains the masses again.

The 9th Natural Wonder of The World

The Nashfalls or Hinulugang Nashman. Located deep in the lush dense tropical rainforest. Cool off. Relax. Be soothed by the refreshing NashFalls. Drink the waters and be rejuvenated. Declared a UNESCO Heritage Site.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

One of Burnham Park's Not So Hidden Treasures

Meet our new BFF, Madame Joan (nee Jonathan dela Cruz). He is the resident Pag-asa weatherman at Burnham Park and for a token donation (she needs to keep her fantabulous wardrobe up to season you know) she will shuffle her tarot cards, tell you things you already know and predict your future up to the fourth decimal place. It's performance art of the highest calibre.

Pag-asa uses the same high tech equipment to run their meteorological models.

I can read that you are a bit daft because I told you to pick three cards and you just gave me one. Heck, even The Nashman can predict her future.

Ilabas ang palad.

Ay tita, ang hirap basahin ng palad mo. Ang gaspang. Mag-vaseline lotion ka naman. Madame Joan predicted that obese lady in stripes will live to 85. That was a real shocker. Tumayo ang balahibo ko sa sindak.

Monday, 24 August 2009

Silent Flaccidity...

It must be cold....

...and the sad part is...

...even if it's flaccid, it's still way bigger than mine. Sigh.


Our neighbour's bitch gave birth to adorable puppies.

Makes you want to go koochi koochi kooooo

I iz ready for me close up Mr. de Mille.

All they do all day is suck titties and sleep. Bliss.

Looks so yummy with a side dish of Kimchi

Ruff, ruff, ruff rufff....