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Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, where are you??

ASAN ANG CBCP??? BAKIT ANG TAHIMIK NIYO? SA PAKIKI-ALAM SA MGA ALITUNTUNIN NG GOBYERNO AT PAMAMALAKAD NITO MAINGAY KAYO.

BAKIT NGAYON HINDI NIYO BUKSAN ANG MGA SIMBAHAN, KATEDRAL, AT PAARALAN NINYO UPANG GAWING REFUGEE CENTRES?? MGA SIMBAHAN NI PINONDOHAN NG MGA TAO, PILIT NA ISINASARA NIYO DAHIL AYAW NIYONG PUMASOK ANG MGA MAPUPUTIK AT GINIGINAW NA TAO? SHET, TANG-INA YAN.

ANG MGA PARI AT MADRE SA KUMBENTO BAKIT DI NIYO I-MOBILISE PARA TUMULONG?

ASAN YANG MGA CHRISTIAN VALUES NA PINAGYAYABANG NIYO LALO NA'T KUNG ANG RH BILL ANG PINAG-UUSAPAN??

Monday, 28 September 2009

Saturday, 26 September 2009

Classic Baguio Joke

Tim McKee and Paul Titmough are cousins.

Tim went, Paul got left behind.

Friday, 25 September 2009

From The Nashman's Print Snap Archives


The Nashman likes this snap.Taken somewhere in Italy. It has so many stories. The young boy and his mother, the lovers making out, the old ladies passing by, the two lost tourists in the background, and the mobster-looking man leaving the cafe. But the most overpowering message of this photo is "I wish I could make out like that in Burnham Park"

Educational Chart for the Day

Z.O.M.G. He's Baaaack. The Glory Days of Baguio are Here Again!

Emboldened by the favourable reactions to his biopic written by Frank Cimatu in Baguio Stories, the man is poised to make a comeback.
Look carefully at my hands, there are no blood packets or pig entrails hidden by my thumb. O ha.

Hello there. If Kasparov and Karpov can make a comeback, so can me.

Double Standards Part Two


What the fuck is this? It's okey to show a man's abs and belly button in a gay magazine (Men's Health) but it's not ok to show the woman's same anatomy (FHM)? This is just plain sexist! Seriously, why is a female torso more indecent than a male torso??? Now we have heard the Catholic Church wants exemption from the Magna Carta for women! Holy shit, talk about institutional sexism and discrimination!

Pussy thinks it's all bollocks!

Thursday, 24 September 2009

Halaliciousness


Good Marawi cuisine swimming in turmeric goodiness can be found at the far end of the Baguio Public Market Meat Section Carinderia Hall (idiay 3rd floor)

What happens when your printer runs out of Cyan and Magenta. It's all natural colour though.

Mmmmm, the beef was chililicious especially with palapa. Go to Evelyn's, now na!

How to prolong the shelf life of your balloons

The Nashman used to store his party balloons in his wallet but apparently, this reduces the shelf life or may induce damage on the packet prematurely exposing the balloon, drying it out. Worse, the balloons might be perforated by Ninoy's forefinger or Manuel L. Quezon's slick coiffure, among other things.

Fortunately, being a devout Catholic, The Nashman is blessed with a plethora of talismans and magic water to prevent his balloons from going dry. We have discovered on page 23 of Papal Encyclical XX23 of a way to prolong the shelf life of our balloon stash. And as you know, when the man with the funny hat sits ex catedra it's causa finita est. Or for those unfortunate enough not to have to sit through latin in High School "Basta sinabi ng Fafa, huwag na kayong mag-isip, shut up nalang kayo, hokey?


Storing your balloons with the Rosary makes them last longer, feel tight, and protects you from all sorts of nasty things.

Remember kids: NO means NO, if it's consensual and you are not yet ready to have a mini-me put rubber on it, and there can be NO abortion if there is contraception.

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Double Standards


The good news is The Nashman is an Igorot, we believe in equal opportunity, hence if our men can go topless, so can our women. I grew up with topless women. Perhaps this is why I feel at home on the beaches of Europe. Hindi tulad nung isa kong kaibigan na taga-baba, di pa yata nakakakita ng utong sa buong buhay niya eh 22 na siya. Pagtapak sa co-ed sauna, tinigasan agad, napagkamalan tuloy pervert at pina-alis. Our culture pala is waay waay advanced and more enligthened. Nag-imasen.

UP Students So Called "Iskolar ng Bayan" are Illitterate.


This is the sad state of the canteen at the UP Campus in Baguio. What's the matter? After passing your multiple choice entrance exams and boasting about it, you can't do the simple thing of putting your waste in the trash bin? Ang yayabang niyo hindi niyo masunod basic 'no littering'?? Kasi, siguro, hanggang pag-shade lang ng bilog ang kaya niyo pero wala kayo common sense. Subsidised na nga education niyo gusto niyo pa ng tagapulot ng basura niyo? Shet kayo.

It's the Tooth and nothing but the Tooth


If you have a root canal problem, it's good to eat minced food like bopis...mmm. Naimas gayam idiay turo-turo idiay Mabini.

My dentist's. Check out the soothing picture.

The tooth is beyond repair, even with high tech root canal technology so it has to be extracted. The Nashman isn't a sadomasochist like Thomas Aquinas or CBCP and requested slathers of topical anesthetic before a double dose of injectable. Painless. And stoned for most of the afternoon.

The blood soaked cotton ball.

The perp.

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit suggested we offer it to the tooth fairy.

The dawgs sleep on it.

This morning, the tooth was gone. The dawgs found a stash of greenbacks. Siempre dollar, the Tooth Fairy is a Kano mythological creature, alangan naman Ninoy Aquino ang isukli niya.

Yay, we haz ice cream money!

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Sometimes I wonder why I stay in polluted and overpopulated Baguio when Lola has a place up in the hills....


I'm standing in front of my window and my altimeter shows me how high my old room is. I betcha there are very FEW villages in the Philippines that are this high. That's nearly 4 times as high as Tagaytay, twice as high as Mt. Arayat and all I have to do to get to the highest point in Luzon is to turn right then left and then walk just 800 metres up. To make things more exciting, Yamashita allegedly stood in front of this very window plotting their retreat when they occupied this 'garage' on their way further north to Kiangan. I'm not sure about the Yamashita bit, but the house definitely has old stories to tell.

Let me share you my wonderful view....ok, 200 days of the year, after 3pm, my view is a total whiteout..

...but THIS is what I normally wake up to in the morning. Seriously.

....if I put my neck out and look further right, this is what I can see.

It does nothing but sleep Part Quatro


Sunday, 20 September 2009

One of The Nashman's Guilty Pleasures.


Use toothpick thoroughly. Lick off slivers of meat caught.

Return to toothpick container.

Shake and let others play the used toothpick lottery. Ah, bliss.

It does nothing but sleep Part Tres


Alpha Pet Queenie can't wake her up for daily lessons on da real world.

Even His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit have trouble getting her out of deep slumber.

The dawgs are amazed, she sleeps 12 hours straight.

HRO Karl Willem managed to wake her up...

...but only for a few seconds and then it was back to la la land.

Slow Food is Good Food, ie things to do while waiting for your HD Porn downloads to finish.


Saute the usual suspects- garlic, ginger, lemongrass, onions.

..add the meat.

Simmer in coconut milk.

While waiting, have some home made pesto.

Simmer down and fry on coconut oil. South East Asian Curry so delicious Jema'al Islamiyah will want to have peace just to get some.

For dessert, boil coconut milk till the oil comes out...

..and these bits of which I don't care to know what they are called.

...remove when brown.

Melt the panutsa in de coconut oil, ayt.

Put in the red malagkit heirloom rice.

Put de brown things on top.

Balatinao is ready. Remember, once you tried black rice, there's no going back. It's way bettah. Jinky Oda will regret being white.