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Friday, 30 April 2010

Austere Dinner


Zatoichi Rupert and his microwave creation of butter something with toffee cream.

Ah Mr. Skittles, we meet again....


...Hertford pussy out for a walk.

Bagong ABS-CBN GMA Kapuso Kapamilya Koreanovela: Lovers sa Sakayan


Boy: Kahit amoy kimchi ang kili kili at paa mo, hindi kita iiwan. Girl: Ikaw rin, kahit mukha kang bulgogi.

Huy! Itigil ang paghimas himas ng soondae! Prime time tayo! Magagalit si Manoling Morato ng MTRCB!

Balik sa wholesomeness at kakornihan, hand on jaw, tingin sa mata, cue background muzak.

Ayan, lalaplapin mo para kiligin ang mga televiewers. Higupin mo parang noodles ang dila!

Magaling ang boy ha, bumaba ang mga kamay. Sige, pigahin mo. Ayan na bus. Umuwi na kayo at baka ma-Edison Cheng pa kayo.

Today's mandatory news break in the loo


The PM of the United Kingdom is decided by....

...who can stand on one foot the longest.

Mudslinging is very amusing indeed.

Yes Tevez, The Nashman is dropping shit that long.

Don't touch my birdie!

Computer says no....


The Bible clearly says that the answer for each of these begin with "It depends....."

I'm werqing it for me and my baby.


Proof that you can look fabulous during your last trimester.

This is for an ad campaign by the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines. No to artificial contraception: Mas masarap kumantot kapag ang titi ay walang saplot! Ipagbawal ang mga condom!

Because we need Libations for May Day

What Google Thinks is....


The answer is.

Thursday, 29 April 2010

Trio


Kajologan.

Kalibugan.

Kakulitan.

This is why...


...you are constipated! Too much junk food!

Mourinho wants one more down the goal!

...but alas, there is not enough fiber to push those babies out.

Homestretch. The horses are tackling the final turn...


...and Go Erap! Beat Money "C5 at Taga" Villiarroyo! Will the Yellowcholia sustain itself? Who is the real 'Sugo ng Diyos', Eddie Villanueva or sira-ulo nutjob Pastro Quiboloy? Gibo might as well be called Giba (Gunggong at Tanga kasi, kumampi kay Gloria Arroyo)...and fist pumps to the pesky 300 Vetellano Acosta loyalists. (Because one needs permission now from sore loser crybaby Dick Gordon, he was not included in this table...besides, kulelat naman kasi, bakit pa pag-uusapan)

But the most important revelation is how political whore Loren Legarda has gone free falling..

No parachute can save pokpok Loren Legarda now. Buti nga sa iyo, pulitikal puta ka kasi.

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Sorting the contents of the holdall


These are the contents of The Nashman's blue adidas holdall on top of the wardrobe. Since The Nashman is moving out, some order must be imposed.

Now in their own bags, ready to be dumped in the same bag again.

1. disposable contact lens for left eye
2. disposable contact lens for right eye
3. box of notebook, diaries, ID's, passport, SD cards
4. disposable razors, nailcutters, balm, hand lotion, petroleum jelly
5. condoms and lube
6. sunglasses
7. drugs
8. muscle ache sticky things
9. emergency kathmandu thermal blanket
10. pens and universal socket adaptor
11. eye mask
12. mac os installer disc

Tonight's dinner while watching Barcelona v. Inter Milan....


...was same as yesterday's. Microwaved rice with instant dinuguan.

Today's News in the Loo


Oh no more politics!

Everywhere in the world, politicians make lots of promises. Yes they will.

Is this even a secret? We've know this for ages.

Ukrainians parliament votes to extend Russian Naval bases. Scuffles and egg throwing ensue with comedic results. Thank Jehovallah the Philippines rejected the US Bases or we'd be throwing balut. (I say this in hindsight. I was very young back then and wanted the US Military Bases to stay...Sadly, Camp John Hay has been mismanaged by brown monkeys and made inaccessible to Baguio locals. It's very very ugly now.)

Ah, classic KGB blackmail operation. You, an old crinkly oppositionist lured by young nubile temptress for amazing sex and drugs....and everything filmed secretly.

Apo Mauricio, it's time to Go. Give chance to others.


Dear Mauricio Domogan, it's been a long time. Thank you for your hard work but we need new blood and new ideas. Adi tako bukudan di gawis adi. Felipe Ramos, Peter "Terminator" Puzon, ken Roi "Anino" Vinzon datako!

Pacquiao beats Lilibeth!


Ang Pambansang Kamao Manny Pacquiao is given the entire page with large images in full colour! Noynoy Aquino can wipe his butt with his Time Magazine cover.

In contrast, poor HRH Lilibeth gets a small photo, a single caption, and, shock horror, is fenced by an advert!

It's nearly summer, we must get the beach body back!


This is why you is a fat. We loves those carbos too much.

We must sign up for this!

Sobra yang mga iniisip niyo. Masyadong madumi! Mangumpisal nga kayo!

Manny Villar the Great Conjurer.


Let Manny Villar baffle you with magical feats of illusion, misdirection, and fantasy.

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

It's very Elvira Madigan. So jealous.


How sweet.

Huy anoyan? Bawal magpadede dito!

Marami talagang mga himala sa damuhan.

Giving is Good


There were really no surprises with the Rich List published this sunday. Basically, the people who deal with minerals, utilities, oil, and real estate have shrugged off the recession and are making more money again.

The Rich List is not really what The Nashman is interested in but rather the Giving List. It's a list of the most charitable people for the past year. The top 5 are quite interesting. Numero uno is special because his giving index is more than 100%. This means he is giving all future earnings to charity! How very very generous. The next man, Gubay, apparently made a pact with God decades ago that he'd give back everything just for a lucky break from his difficulties at that time. He got his big opportunity, seized it, made millions and is now giving most of it away, save for loose change £10M for his children. Third guy Bart Becht is the dutch boss of a company that deals with cleaning products as in panglinis ng kubeta. He was criticised last month for his huge salary but that was before we knew he was a humanitarian pala. I don't know much about Anurag Dikshit but his name is funny (in English) and hey, he gave away 72% of his wealth. Uma Thurman is in this list because she's married to a kind hedgie.

And the people in the main rich list arning 100 times as much as those in the Giving List? It appears they are kuripot and give away not even 1% of their wealth. If they do, it's not for humanitarian reasons but vanity projects like art galleries and public monuments.

When he grows up, The Nashman vows to be be as generous as them.

Where the profits are.

Yay! The Nashman is in the top star sign. There is hope!

We could try to write.....but what story?

Incidentally, Lilibeth is only at number 245 in the Rich List. The £16B Royal Collection is not considered as part of her personal wealth.