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Thursday, 30 September 2010

The right loo stall does not haz wifi/gprs signal!


Darn it. The Leftmost one with the one bar signal was sadly occupied. What else can one do to amuse oneself while loolaxing?

Fat birds.


You wonder how can they even fly with all that junk food.

It's rainy and everyone is just chillaxing indoors and ALL of the dawgs are laaaazy





...well, the sheep are out.

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

The best things in life are free thanks to Intelligent Design..


I nomnomed these sweet berries on my way home.

They iz delish

You know that feeling.....


...when you really need to go and your anus/sphincter starts clenching...First there is the pain of trying your darndest to keep all the faeces in and the spinechilling rush to the loo...then the wonderful relief as you finally let it all go. Sometimes, it's nearly as good as an orgasm.

Yay for poopies!

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Behind the Scenes: National Artiste Carlo J. Caparas' "Ex-Men: Dati may titi, ngayon chop chop na."


They are filming the X-Men prequel with James McAvoy as the young Professor Xavier. I hope Magneto destroys Oxbarrio.

Rather than show you James McAvoy, I would like to share some snaps of Best Boy 1 and Gaffer 2. They make it happen, you know.

That telekinetic stuff that Xavier does requires lots of juice.

We make people levitate.

They always show up when some deranged mutant lays waste to a city. Coincidence?

Monday, 27 September 2010

Starting the day with good news...


'My account was hacked! That couldn't have been me' is the standard excuse.

Apple patents flash redirection. It's very simple actually. The fafis will be very happy.

Gallows humour overfloweth but I will keep them to myself.

GPS - £150. Common sense - priceless.

Flapless flying.

Don't ask Chiz 'Boy Laway' Escudero to explain the Coanda effect. Chiz Boy Laway Escudero hates science and math and thinks our country can get by without it in the basic education curriculum.

Sunday, 26 September 2010

Oliver follows me around.


Sunday night is pie night at my local pub. The face on the portrait looked familiar. Then I read the plaque. Oxbarrio is where the Royalists formally surrendered to Oliver the republican. He died of malaria and was buried but the returned Royals exhumed him and quartered his body ala double dead livestock. Today, Oliver watched me eat my pork and chorizo pie.

Emergency Deposit at Terminal 4


Take the necessary precautions.

Deport the little critters.

Visa denied.

Airports are Heelarious


1. The state of cognitive dissonance. You know you've boarded the wrong connecting train and yet you think that somehow it will miraculously deliver you to the right place. And you will also have voice immodulation disease. No. Talking loudly will not divert this train against the wishes of the driver and the 99.999% of us who know we boarded the right train.
2.The woman who insists she is in the right check in queue. No Ma'am, this is not Delta Airlines. This is KLM-Airfrance. It says so on the many flashing screens. But you are already in the queue and you really want Delta Airlines so instead of going to the correct zone, you still stay despite the airline staff saying there is no way you can check in in this zone because it's not Delta Airlines. But I'm on Delta Airlines! you insist. Repeat 4x.
3. The Oscar-Award winning performance. You are surprised! You mean I have to pay to check in TWO humongous 30kg bags (each) plus a 'handcarry' luggage that is twice IATA regulations for hand luggage? How come no one told me! It says so on my ticket? Surely 'One 23kg hold luggage' and those dimensions for cabin luggage are merely 'suggestions'. Keep acting surprised, confused, and livid at the 'unfairness' of it all while you hold the queue. Meanwhile, those in the queue with similar accoutrements just look away pretending not to overhear so when it's their turn, they too can act surprised at the 'unfair' luggage restrictions.
4. The man who checked in with no hold luggage and casually carried 4 shirts on hangers with NO covers like he was just going out to hang the laundry. That.is.fricking.cool. I wanted to take a photo but he was quickly through the gates. If everyone was like you, we wouldn't need to show up 3 hours early.
5. The obese family who insist we should give way to them because they are in danger of missing their connecting flight. No worries. Except I've seen you casually window shopping 45 minutes ago. Maybe you bought a watch?
6. The families (who are not passengers) who occupy and take away seats of the airport cafes and restaurants. How very considerate of you to have your family reunion in the airport. It is a very good venue for catching up with distant relatives.

Terminal 4.

Chain resto.

Eggs benedict.

Saturday, 25 September 2010

Yummeh Take Away Dinner


Our local Chinese takeaway with the classic and elegant wall treatment.

Mmmm. Delicious.

Menage a Trois


Oh noes! A very messy threesome. Lots of shaking and grinding going on. Still yummeh though.

Mmm, definitely licking that.

Thank heavens gold is cheap. Now only if Bolivia provides the lithium, this mousse would be beyond awesome.

Cheeky Breakfast


Good mooning.

Quiche and coffee to start the day.

Friday, 24 September 2010

Another Oxbarrio Gastronomic Protest Society Dinner


Leica Gurl was formally inducted into our exclusive Gastronomic Protest Society and the main dish was Moroccan

Candles for the ambience.

The Nashman's plate.

Ten minutes later.

The ash and penicillin coated cheese.

Apple pie from the apple tree in the backyard.

Pascal


It's worth the 5 mile trip to the outskirts of Oxbarrio.

Pascal left a Michelin-starred kitchen and opened his own patisserie. Everything is yummeh (and cheap).

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem, PA/PR Gromit, and Feltotto sniff the pasalubong.

Mmmmmm...passionfruit and strawberry.